As Promised

So, I said I would say something about my drive down. I drove all the way to the California border without stopping. No food breaks, no restroom breaks, and most importantly, no stops to get gas. One tank, all the way to Primm, NV (right on the CA border). Pretty cool, huh?

Okay, while that is cool, that's not what I really wanted to say about the drive. I was listening to the CDs of the most recent LDS Chaplains' Seminar (and by the way, Carrie, thanks for you words, I obviously did not hear them when they were delivered) and based on what a few different speakers had said, I felt like I needed to talk to my Heavenly Father and explain my current frustrations and confusions. So I stopped the CD and started praying. I explained that I knew I had been called to the chaplaincy, but was doubting if the details of my call were of my own choosing, or part of the call. I wondered if I should start looking for a primary career and be a chaplain in the reserves instead. I even wondered if I should look into the Army since I know they are still hiring. I got the distinct impression that I should "Stay Navy" (it's a slogan from the Navy Reserve). I also felt like I should pursue an appointment as an active duty chaplain. I almost felt like the Lord was telling me "I have a spot for you." I am still trying to figure out if these are my own thoughts and feelings talking to me, or if this really is inspiration. I really want it to be what the Lord is telling me, but often when we are so attached and emotionally involved in the situation it is easy to confuse our own feelings with what the Lord is telling us. It would take a miracle for me to be headed to school before next March, but all things are possible for God (by definition, that's what a miracle is). President Boyd K. Packer said that he once had a question and President McKay advised him how to proceed. He did not see how to go forward and President (then Elder) Harold B. Lee told him that the problem was that he (President (then Elder) Packer) wanted to see the end from the beginning and he replied that he just wanted to see a few steps ahead. President Lee told him that "you must learn to walk to the edge of the light, and then a few steps into the darkness; then the light will appear and show the way before you." Ether 12:6 concludes "dispute not because ye see not, for ye receive no witness until after the trial of your faith." Nephi relates that he "was led by the Spirit, not knowing beforehand the things which I should do" (1 Nephi 4:6). I apologize for rushing through here and not crafting my thoughts better, but I have to go stand watch soon. I am reminded of one of my favorite hymns, "Lead, Kindly Light." The first verse says basically, I used to like to see the whole thing, but now I am fine with You just showing me one step. That sounds like where President Packer was. Sometimes we don't even get that one step. That makes life hard sometimes. So, even though I have no idea when I will actually be an active duty chaplain, and if I will have to be a reserve chaplain for awhile first, I do know that Heavenly Father knows. And even though I wish He would tell me, I know that it will all work out in the end. Gotta run.